HOW TO STALK HAPPINESS

Why Happiness Is a By-Product, Not a Goal

A woman came into my office and declared “All I want is to be happy!” to which I replied, “You’re doomed!”.  I explained that it isn’t a goal that you can achieve, but it is an outcome you can create out of the choices you make. 

Happiness is not a destination! Many people make the tactical error of thinking that they can go directly toward happiness and grab it. Here’s a newsflash: happiness is a by-product, not a goal! We think that we can just choose happiness, and if we don’t succeed in getting it, then something must be wrong with us. Incorrect! Happiness is a result; it is the result of following our passions, and going after our dreams. It is also a product of giving to others and being of service to the world. We can’t chase it down and possess it, so let’s stop beating our heads against the wall in that useless effort and learn the alchemy that will result in real joy!  

 The set-point theory of happiness suggests that our level of well-being is determined primarily by heredity and by personality traits ingrained in us early in life, and as a result remains relatively constant throughout our lives. Are we trapped in a bubble, stuck with a ceiling to our sense of well-being? Are we captives of our fate and our genes? Here’s the real question: can we deliberately change that setpoint and increase our capacity for joy?

Happiness doesn’t just happen. Something provokes it. In one sense we’re always looking for what’s going to make ourselves happy, and in another, we are just hoping to get lucky. There’s a saying “God hid the answers to our happiness in a place we’d never look. Inside.” What does that mean? It means that concurrent with whatever other moods and things that we’re feeling, underneath it all, there is a happy, careful version of ourselves.

The trick is knowing the actions necessary to unlock it. It turns out that giving, not receiving, is the biggest contributor to our happiness.It isn’t the only way, but it is the quickest and easiest and most reliable.

– A few simple ways to increase our happiness include showing compassion, thinking positive thoughts, staying connected, and doing what we love. Here are some other elements that generate good will: 

PATHS TO HAPPINESS: few simple ways to increase our happiness:

1. Practice gratitude
2. Practice giving
3. Practice kindness
4. Practice self-love
5. Practice compassion
6. Stay connected
7. Smile
8. Exercise
9. Get plenty of sleep
10. Learn to let go
11. Cultivate a positive mindset
12. Surround yourself with positive people
13. Set goals and give yourself permission to dream
14. Celebrate yourself and your life
15. Spend time with people you love
16. Practice self care
17. Take moments in the day to just breathe and be present
18. Don’t think about things that you can’t do anything about
19. Give up regrets
20. Make a list of ten things you love to do, and do at least one a day
21. Have a way to download your feelings without buying in to them
22. Unclutter your house and your life
23. Exercise
24. Smile
25. Make someone else happy

Know this: your happiness is available to you. The pathway is through your passion and curiosity. The shortcuts are simple; be of service and give to others. The truth is simple. It is always within you.

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