Rules To Live By
The companion book in motion, restored to the page so the object feels tangible before anyone commits.
Rules To Live By (But Not Believe)
A book of 32 functional philosophies and 33 resourceful states of mind. You are not asked to believe them. You are asked to try them and notice what changes.
Companion to Destiny Cards · Ships late April 2026
Let me be clear when I say “But not Believe.” I don’t mean that you can’t believe these rules, or even that you shouldn’t. I’m saying that your belief isn’t required in order to use these guidelines. Each of these principles is a lens through which to see a given problem or situation. Looking through this lens will focus your point of view in a different, more revealing way.
Imaginary numbers do not exist. We made them up as a device to test different models and create alternate scenarios. They are, essentially, untruths. As I introduce you to the Functional Philosophies, I offer a similar construct and a similar idea. These philosophies are merely a tool to reveal different, more powerful and constructive interpretations of your life and your situations. No one believes that imaginary numbers exist, they just use them. I’m inviting you to do likewise with these ideas.
The beauty of a Functional Philosophy is that you are not required to believe it, only to use it. What does that mean? Too many disciplines and belief systems require that you buy into their ethos and their story. The Paradox Process makes no such requirement. We are only interested in you getting to your truth in the most empowering ways.
“Everything is perfect and meant to be, for mine and for everyone’s highest good.”
“All conflicts and upsets revolve around a lesson, to learn, to grow and to evolve.”
“You are capable of creating anything that you want in this life.”
“Everyone is doing the best that they can!”
“Life wants you to have everything you want!”
“You’ve chosen every lesson and conflict in your life to evolve and grow.”
“You wrote the script of your life and you are in control.”
“Every interaction with others is an act of spiritual cooperation based on love.”
“You are not damaged by life, you’re still perfect, you just went into hiding.”
“You are always creating the reality you see, good and bad!”
“You can reinvent yourself, at any time and any way that you choose.”
“You have enormous power, always.”
“Feelings are strategies to get what we want.”
“Life is a series of gifts for you, waiting to be given.”
“You have a purpose only you can fulfill, and it will call forth your greatness.”
“You are exactly where you are supposed to be and right on time. There is no wasted time or activity.”
“There are no accidents or coincidences.”
“There is an authentic self waiting to emerge in you, and that self is joyous and passionate about life.”
“There is no right or wrong, good or bad, only what works or doesn’t work.”
“We are drawn to those who will help us fulfill our lessons and actualize ourselves.”
“We create the world we see, and we can create it any way that we choose.”
“The universe is a perfect accountant. Everyone gets back what they’ve put out.”
“We choose everything and everyone in our lives. Every interaction is an act of love.”
“We have complete control over our reality and our experience.”
“This is a lifetime of permission. We are free to do anything we want.”
“The moment we conceive what we want, we have created that possible reality.”
“We continue to create the same situation over and over until we learn our lesson.”
“A lesson not learned comes back exponentially.”
“We are all connected. You cannot hurt another without hurting yourself.”
“The greatest joy in life is learning and growing.”
“The most rewarding path is a life of service.”
“Master giving and you will find the path to joy.”
“Everyone is doing the best that they can!”
When we survey the world around us, it’s easy to become disillusioned. The constant stream of conflict, injustice, and suffering can make it hard to believe that anyone is truly “doing their best.” But then we encounter stories like that of Nelson Mandela, and our perspective shifts.
Imagine spending decades locked away, imprisoned for your unwavering belief in freedom and equality. Imagine facing not just physical confinement, but also the constant erosion of hope, the daily assault on your spirit. This was Mandela’s reality for 27 years, a testament to the extraordinary strength it takes to stand against oppression. Yet, even in the darkest of times, he chose a path of dignity.
Released from prison, he could have easily succumbed to the bitterness that years of injustice might have bred. He could have sought revenge, fueled by anger and resentment. But Mandela, with a profound understanding of human nature, chose a different path — the path of reconciliation.
Central to his resolve that his world could be changed was his belief that people were always doing their best in their given circumstances, and by creating new opportunity, they too would rise to greater levels.
“Everyone is doing the best that they can!” This supposition takes away the need to judge or minimize others and allows us to feel good will toward those who struggle. We can’t know the pain and hardship that others face and what they are overcoming right now. When we have the opportunity, we can give grace through this view.
We can often find ourselves in combat with life, actively fighting the tide of incompetence and injustice. Reframing the efforts we see as the best “they” can do takes away our frustration and brings us to a place of acceptance. There are a million things in life that we can change and a million that we can’t. When we determine which is which we can apply our efforts toward what really matters.
We can’t control the weather, the traffic, or whether our favorite coffee shop runs out of muffins. But we can control our reactions. Let’s pick our battles wisely. When we buy into the idea that everyone is truly trying, and trying hard, we can focus on the things we can change, like our attitude and our response. It is far more important that we curate our experience than criticizing the efforts of others.
Each state includes a story, practical guidance, and a daily practice.
“This book is dedicated to all of us who struggle to make sense of life — to understand how it works and why — to all who strive to give meaning and purpose to their daily actions and to find direction in the midst of chaos.”
Also available: Destiny Cards separately — $35