http://paradoxprocess.org We are currently under construction. Wed, 17 Nov 2010 04:21:30 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 en hourly 1 http://paradoxprocess.org/feelings/rescripting-conflict/ http://paradoxprocess.org/feelings/rescripting-conflict/#comments Fri, 12 Nov 2010 16:06:06 +0000 Andrea http://paradoxprocess.org/?p=750 1. What is your goal in this conflict? What do you hope to achieve?
2. What does your partner hope to achieve?
3. What would you like your partner to do to remedy the situation?
4. What are you willing to do to remedy the situation?
5. What experience do you expect to have if you achieve your goal?
6. What is the experience our partner is having now?
7. What does he/she think of your tactics?
8. What do you think of his/her tactics?
9. Are they effective?
10. Do these tactics make you more or less inclined to give what your partner wants?
11. How would you change your partner’s tactics?
12. If you added respect to your approach, how would it change your tactics?
13. If you added understanding to your approach, how would that change your tactics?
14. If you reversed goals, how would you fight for your partner’s outcome?
15. Why do you think he/she wants what they want?
16. Is there room for compromise in this conflict?
17. What would the compromise be?
18. Would you describe this as a win/lose scenario?
19. Is it a lose/lose scenario?
20. Can it be changed to a win/win scenario?
21. What is your conflict style? Combative or cooperative?
22. Do you feel diminished if you concede?
23. Do you feel augmented if you win?
24. Are there implied or stated threats in this conflict?
25. Does your style of conflict reflect your values? Your beliefs? Your spirituality?
26. Can you change your conflict style to more accurately reflect these aspects of your belief system?
27. What is the basis of your resistance to resolving this conflict?
28. Can you accurately paraphrase your partner’s position and requests?
29. If this conflict didn’t exist, what would these feelings and emotions be about?
30. What is your hidden agenda in this conflict?
31. What is your partner’s hidden agenda in this conflict?
32. If this conflict escalated to a conclusion, what would it be?
33. If this conflict de-escalated to a conclusion, what would it be?
34. If both of you had to brainstorm your way out of this, what would that look like, what would the outcome be?
35. What are the facts of this situation?
36. What are your respective opinions of this situation?
37. What would you advise a friend in this situation?
38. How is the conflict different when it is public, and when it is private?
39. What do you agree about in your partner’s stand?
40. What do you think they agree about in yours?
41. Are you willing to admit to being wrong?
42. Is your partner willing to admit to being wrong?
43. Are you trying to dominate or avoid domination?
44. Is your partner trying to dominate or avoid domination?
45. What can change here? Can the facts change? The feelings? The interpretations? The intentions?
46. Imagine this resolved. What does it look like?
47. How will you feel when this is resolved?
48. Can you feel that way now?
49. Can your partner feel that way now?
50. Make it your intention that this will be solved to everyone’s satisfaction.

]]> http://paradoxprocess.org/feelings/rescripting-conflict/feed/ 0